Fact of Life, #2

Envy is the broadest vice. And it crushes.

Fact of Life, #1

There is always a top 1%.

So THAT'S What They've Been Chanting!

I've been hearing it wrong all this time: It's "Descent is patriotic!" 

Now I get it.

From The "Battlefield"

"I'll hold up my anti-corporation, anti-capitalism, anti-consumption Occupy Wall Street protest sign as soon as I finish downloading this pirated new release to my iPhone, rolling up my Patagonia bag, airing out my Marmot tent, eating my free -- Hey, who the hell bought this?! -- Sal's Pizza, drinking this -- also free! -- Venti Cafe Misto, and ... wait! Look over there! Is that Fox News?! Quick! Grab my Canon 5D and my GoPro Hero and let's go catch them in some hypocrisy!"


-- dispatched from the Contratimes protest tent, Wall Street. 


PS. Everyone here hates Contratimes. 


©2011/Contratimes

One Small Problem With Herman Cain

I have to say that every time I look at Herman Cain's tax plan when I'm standing on my head -- using my feet, of course -- I see 666. 

(Perhaps his handlers might consider changing 9-9-9 to 8-9-10. Perhaps.)

I thought you should know...

... that I have to take this blog offline for a while.

Learning To Let Things Slide

1. Remember when "they" promised there was no such thing as a slippery slope? Yeah, they were lying. Regardless, I am resolving, albeit slowly, to let things slide.   

2. While using Facebook, I have contended with the nearly constant temptation to challenge every socio-political inanity posted there. However, I am, albeit slowly, resolving to let things slide.

3. While listening to Mr. Barack Obama speak (if one can call what I do "listening" and what he does "speaking"), I have contended with the impulse to smash sundry household items. However, I am resolving, albeit slowly, to let things slide.

4. When I read various columnists in The New York Times, the temptation to cry at the undeniable degradation of the American intellect waves over me. However, I am resolving, albeit slowly, to let things slide.

5. When I watch so-called "smart people" like Bill Maher, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Jon Stewart or Al Gore, I am left stunned, not just at their conceit, but at their obtund minds, as they cannot perceive the irony: if you are going to boast about your superior skills at spelling while mocking those who allegedly misspell every word, you better be the best orthographer in the room. However, I am resolving, albeit slowly, to let things slide.

The fact is that just because I've always known there is a moral slippery slope and that the human mind often boasts to itself about its allegedly un-benighted performance, it does not follow that I must slide down that slope, or darken my own mind, in order to be a member of the set of really cool people. Conceit IS blindness.  

In short, I am resolving to let everything slide but my own mind and my own convictions. It is easy to drive oneself to insanity with others' inanities, but how does that help anyone? 

I once heard a woman on NPR relate what her yoga instructor told her; the instructor was confronting the woman about comparing herself to other women in the class. The instructor said, "Husband your gaze." 

In this age, that's sage advice. 

"Keep your eye on the prize."  

__________

On The Nature Of Debates: A Satirical Look

What IS a debate? Aren't debates generally between people who have disagreements of note?

Here's my partly facetious take on the recent Republican debates; my thoughts apply to ANY debate held between candidates vying for either Republican or Democratic nominations.

__________________

MODERATOR: Who here believes in A?

MICHELLE BACHMANN: I believe in A, but my opponents only believe in A.

RICK PERRY: With all due respect, Ms. Bachmann, I do not believe in A. I never have. Instead, I believe in A. In fact, I believe A is good for America.

MITT ROMNEY: I opposed A in Massachusetts, and then I passed it without reservation. Right now, today, Americans around this country are looking for someone new who will finally stand up to Washington. These same Americans are looking for someone to tell them something different and not the same old "inside the beltway" blather about A. That is why I have assembled a team and have proposed a detailed plan to promote A. I call my team the A-Team.

RON PAUL: I support A fully, but I have a way of explaining A that will, of course, lead you to believe that I do not support A at all. It begins with the gold standard and --

MODERATOR: Let's move on to the next question, shall we?

HERMAN CAIN: With all due respect to my colleague from Massachusetts/New Hampshire/Michigan/Utah, your team is not the "A-Team." I know the A-Team, and your team is no A-Team. Your team is the ATM Team. And that is why I, as president, will refuse to support A or any A-Team. I will assemble in the Oval Office a B-Team that will promote my 999 plan.

MITT ROMNEY: Which is a fine plan as long as you don't look at the 999 plan while standing on your head.

MODERATOR: That's out of order, Mr. Cain and Mr. Romney --

HERMAN CAIN: I apologize, but what's NOT out of order is Mr. Romney's ATM Team, as Mr. Romney's ATM is always open. My B-Team, however --

___________________

Amusingly, 

©2011/Bill Gnade. All Rights Reserved. 

Visiting My Own House

I stopped in at Contratimes today almost out of nostalgia. I haven't been thoughtfully active here in so long, this blog no longer feels like it's mine. Perhaps it isn't; perhaps I shall find it to be the work of some alter ego. But I doubt it. 

Somewhat without meaning to, I read through my old essay regarding NPR's firing of Juan Williams, and I must say it is really quite good. Did I really write that? Hmm. 

Blessings! 

A Moment Noticed

Personally, I find it all rather astonishing. Need I say more?

"OVER 1/3 OF WISCONSIN VOTERS PREFER FAKE DEMOCRATS TO REAL ONES"

Contratimes readers should read this AP dispatch regarding the Democratic primary election in Wisconsin. It is quite interesting. The primary sets the stage for the upcoming "recall" election in August. The recall is essentially a protest and reactionary vote to Gov. Scott Walker's actions to limit certain aspects of public-sector union bargaining options (one can't really call them "rights", as the unions are wont to do).

Here's my reaction to the AP report: 

So the losers -- Republicans -- received an average of 36% of the vote -- in a DEMOCRATIC primary election? Sounds like the Republicans actually WON.

Notice how the AP has spun this story. What it fails to note is that 36% of the voters in a Democratic primary election would prefer a fake Democrat to a real one.

The recall is doomed, or so it seems from here in New England. But, in the end, this New Englander only cares about the fake journalists working at the AP.

Lastly, it would seem to me that the Democrats who live in America's Dairyland would take their enthusiasm for sustainable living and farming to the next level: to sustainable governance and spending. In other words, the Democrats might want to hold a more cogent and consistent position vis-á-vis sustainability. Ah, but as one great New Englander once said: "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." Consistency? How annoying.

Go, Red Sox.

PS. It's easy to spin.

©2011/Contratimes. All Rights Reserved.

Still Weeping, Weeping Still

Silence is a good thing. 

On the last day of March, while enjoying a moment of sheer exhilaration skiing in Utah's Wasatch Range, I broke my leg and badly sprained my ankle. My ankle remains swollen; the bone is repaired -- mostly -- but ice is still part of my life. 

On April 13, exactly two weeks after my skiing accident, my sister-in-law and niece were killed in an early morning fire at their home several towns east of where I sit. Their deaths were a profound shock to my entire family; the fire was extremely public, leading the local news broadcasts for the better part of two days. (Without any bragging but only with great pain, I report I was the 'family spokesman.') The house in which Fran and Rebecca were killed (Max, the family dog, also died) was utterly destroyed, collapsing upon them and sinking into the basement. Four people escaped; there were rumors of miracles, as it seemed impossible anyone could have survived. But rumors of that sort don't bring much comfort. 

The house-that-is-no-longer was where I was first introduced to my wife's family. It was where we were to celebrate this past Easter; it was the major hub for all the big holiday celebrations in our family. 

On June 10, after winter finally loosened its icy grip on New Hampshire's soil and our hearts and bodies returned to something resembling normal, I carried my mother's casket out of an old underground granite vault and buried her in the family plot near the shores of a lovely lake. My mother died in December 2010. One might think such an event would feel like closure, and it does, but only to a point. It is hard to let go. 

The picture above was taken shortly after Fran and Rebecca's deaths (I took the photograph). Fran loved the color red; Rebecca made her own jewelry. As a sign of unity, members of our rather large family wore handmade bracelets bearing two silver charms, Laugh and Love. The daffodil, spring's lovely harbinger, was the only flower in bloom at the fire scene. It is a flower that annually disappears into brown ruins, but it does return. 

Fran and Rebecca were love and laughter to us. Fran's last actions, her final steps toward a daughter she loved, were the very heart of God: she would rather die with her daughter than live without her. And Rebecca was simply vibrant with laughter. 

My leg and ankle will be fine, for now. There are different ways to limp, and there are many ways to be hobbled. Nothing lasts forever, even healing. But there is an assurance of things not seen that whispers in the quiet, the deep quiet. It is all I have. 

Silence is a good thing. It is a gift. It is, in fact, inevitable. But the promise of a Great Noise, perhaps a trumpet blast or a choir of angels, or the welcoming laughter of a dear soul, is enough. Such is the daffodil of my days. 

Peace. 

(As spokesman for the family -- I speak for us all -- I declare this is our message: Please tell -- you know who -- that you love them. Tell them now. Please. You don't have time.)

©2011/Contratimes. All rights reserved. 

Sign Of The Times?

I took this photo this afternoon and I have to say my feelings about it are decidedly mixed.

I am not blind to the humor or the irony: I can see that, if May 21, 2011 is indeed "Judgment Day," then it follows -- at least I think it follows -- that the Fire Danger Index would be considerably higher than a mere 2. I also get that if there is a Rapture tomorrow -- something far different than the Final Judgment, by the way -- then those who are indeed taken away will leave lots of things behind (proving, of course, the adage that "you can't take it with you"). I get, too, something perhaps too subtle, namely, that those who think they will be caught up in the Rapture might have second thoughts if they realize someone will be rifling through their forsaken goods. And I further understand the humor and irony in picturing those who are supposed to protect our property -- firefighters -- rushing to the homes of the suddenly departed in order to abscond with everything in sight. I get what's funny; I get the irony. If I didn't, I would not have taken the picture.

But is there something amiss when a town department -- in this case a fire department -- pokes fun at a group's religious beliefs? Granted, those who expect a Rapture -- that Jesus Christ will raise the faithful from a damned planet and leave the faithless behind without hope of redemption -- belong to a rather small group; there are many very devout and orthodox Christians who do not believe in this particular event. Regardless, the Rapture is a distinctly religious belief held by very sincere and devout people. Is this appropriate for a town sign?

Hey, but let me count myself among those who are skeptical about what is prognosticated for tomorrow. Clearly the prophecy possesses one intrinsic problem: it is May 21 somewhere right now, and yet I write this on May 20. Perhaps Jesus was way ahead of His peers (which, to the devout, seems undeniable) when He admitted that even He did not know the "day or the hour" when the earth would come to an end. Perhaps Jesus was well aware that geo-physics -- with a roundish, revolving earth and all -- reveal that a "day" is a rather relative term; and this especially when we consider that today is already tomorrow somewhere east of where I sit (and west, of course). May 21 is today; so, too, is May 20. When, pray tell, is the earth really "within" what we would call "May 21, 2011"? Does the universe itself follow the Gregorian (or Julian) calendar? (What day is it on the International Space Station, by the way, or what day is it on the sun?)

Moreover, at what point in a Christian's life does he or she gain the confidence to KNOW what Jesus Christ claimed not to know? Or is this just another example of the gnostic temptation -- to know and discern what others are too obtuse, dumb or worldly to divine for themselves? Clearly the gnostic temptation is an all too common one, but one would think the last people to fall prey to such an allurement would be the Christians whose Lord admitted the "day [and] the hour" were not something with which He was particularly concerned. 

But, well, whatever. The world keeps spinning. I have been taught since a child to live and love as if each day is my last -- with the emphasis on love. I have been taught to "be ready," and not just in the religious but even in the social or existential sense: I ought to have as few loose ends with my loved ones as possible. In a very real sense every day is Judgment Day. I've got no guarantees I have a tomorrow. Heck, I don't have any guarantees that I have a right now. I can only trust, hope, believe. I can only beg for mercy and grace; and I can give what love, grace, and hope I have to give. 

Is Jesus returning tomorrow? I have no idea. I know that the mystery of the Christian faith is summed up in this triad: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again. Christians have proclaimed this for 2,000 years, and it is doubtful they will stop proclaiming it after tomorrow. 

But it is good to remember what is recorded as the last prayer written in the New Testament; it is a prayer given in response to Christ's last promise. It is a sober prayer. It is a prayer I can almost hear spoken with a sort of reverent reluctance. Surely it is not offered with great vigor and enthusiasm; surely it is not something proclaimed with a great deal of glee. It is more a prayer of trusting resignation than it is one of eager confidence and unrestrained jubilation. 

"Behold, I return quickly." 

"Even so, return Lord Jesus." 

Peace to you all. May all love be yours. Forever.

©2011/Bill Gnade 

It's Only Proper

Setting aside all cultural differences while invoking the highest orders of decorum, propriety, punctiliousness and conviviality; and without equivocation or ambiguity, hesitancy or diffidence, I declaim -- with indefatigable exactitude -- that I am royally disinterested.

©2011/William Gnade

My Caption Entry

Yesterday talk-radio host Laura Ingraham asked listeners to go to her Facebook page and write a caption for a photo of Barack Obama in Brazil; it was a rather small and silly contest. The photo, and my caption submission, are posted below. Ms. Ingraham read the winners on her radio program moments ago; they were lame. Obviously I did not win.

Rio De Janeiro, BRAZIL -- Responding to criticism that he reacted too slowly to the Libyan crisis, U.S. President Barack Obama deliberately kicked a soccer ball into the face of a Brazilian orphan yesterday. The president explained afterwards his actions were necessary “to show the world that America is dead serious” about protecting “peaceful citizens” who live under oppressive regimes. “Let me make myself perfectly clear,” the president said moments before vanishing from sight. After the president’s sudden disappearance, a White House source who requested anonymity (and asylum), said the president “did not vanish as Fox News falsely reported,” but that he had “merely and brilliantly demonstrated his award-winning transparency.” The young boy (name withheld), who was unharmed in the incident, told reporters that the president promised he would like to apologize to him but needed to wait for approval from the UN before doing so. When asked about the boy’s claim, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said that “though this administration does not have all the facts at this time, we do believe the boy acted stupidly.” (Photo by Keith Olbermann, Obama Sports Network)

Not too bad, eh?

©2011/Contratimes. All Rights Reserved.

I'm Just Dis-Putin'

Regarding the UN resolution to establish a no-fly zone over Libya, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said "It allows everything. It resembles mediaeval calls for crusades." REALLY, Mr. Putin? Didn't the Arab League  petition the UN for such a no-fly zone?

©2011/Contratimes. All Rights Reserved. 

Reductio

In the final analysis, THIS is apparently American foreign policy: "Blessed are the piece-makers." (Perhaps there is a Nobel prize for that. After all, Mr. Nobel did give us dynamite.)

©2011/Contratimes. All rights reserved.

Blessed Are The Piece Makers

This morning I wonder. I wonder if I will hear cries of a "rush to war!" or that "this is Obama's war!" from those who relentlessly reproached Barack Obama's predecessor, George W. Bush.

I wonder who might recall that 16 months and a dozen UN resolutions passed before George W. Bush began major military operations in Iraq, and yet his actions were reduced to that cynical phrase: "Bush's  rush to war". 

I wonder who might, among the American left particularly, describe this present action against Libya by the United States, begun barely three weeks after Libya showed signs of destabilization, as Mr. Obama's unilateral "rush to war." Or are three weeks sufficient for an allegedly deeply reflective leader committed to diplomacy to descry that diplomacy has failed? 

Who, I ask, shall reduce Mr. Obama's actions to his unmitigated lust for oil? 

And I wonder how many of my leftist peers will call Mr. Obama a war criminal, or shout that he has begun an illegal war, all in light of the undeniable fact that he did NOT advise, or seek the counsel of, the United States Congress before bombing the hell out of Libya. Who shall call for his arrest? Who shall demand that he be handed over to the Hague for war crimes? Who shall urge the Nobel committee to revoke Mr. Obama's prize for peace? I wonder. 

I wonder in vain. 

Peace. I guess. 

©Contratimes/2011. All rights reserved. 

Indubitably

It seems self-evident that the only way to ensure we're "Winning the Future" -- an undeniably ambiguous goal -- is to first ensure we're winning the present. 

(Just another pithy remark from Bill Gnade)

New Indeed

Contratimes Resurfaces

After some grueling undercover work, Contratimes has returned to blogostology.