What IS a debate? Aren't debates generally between people who have disagreements of note?
Here's my partly facetious take on the recent Republican debates; my thoughts apply to ANY debate held between candidates vying for either Republican or Democratic nominations.
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MODERATOR: Who here believes in A?
MICHELLE BACHMANN: I believe in A, but my opponents only believe in A.
RICK PERRY: With all due respect, Ms. Bachmann, I do not believe in A. I never have. Instead, I believe in A. In fact, I believe A is good for America.
MITT ROMNEY: I opposed A in Massachusetts, and then I passed it without reservation. Right now, today, Americans around this country are looking for someone new who will finally stand up to Washington. These same Americans are looking for someone to tell them something different and not the same old "inside the beltway" blather about A. That is why I have assembled a team and have proposed a detailed plan to promote A. I call my team the A-Team.
RON PAUL: I support A fully, but I have a way of explaining A that will, of course, lead you to believe that I do not support A at all. It begins with the gold standard and --
MODERATOR: Let's move on to the next question, shall we?
HERMAN CAIN: With all due respect to my colleague from Massachusetts/New Hampshire/Michigan/Utah, your team is not the "A-Team." I know the A-Team, and your team is no A-Team. Your team is the ATM Team. And that is why I, as president, will refuse to support A or any A-Team. I will assemble in the Oval Office a B-Team that will promote my 999 plan.
MITT ROMNEY: Which is a fine plan as long as you don't look at the 999 plan while standing on your head.
MODERATOR: That's out of order, Mr. Cain and Mr. Romney --
HERMAN CAIN: I apologize, but what's NOT out of order is Mr. Romney's ATM Team, as Mr. Romney's ATM is always open. My B-Team, however --
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Amusingly,
©2011/Bill Gnade. All Rights Reserved.
1 comment:
Oh too funny.
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